Bringing together everyone involved in the care of your loved one, whether it’s on the other side of the world or in your four walls, is essential. Agreeing to those roles as best you can at the onset of an illness is best, but it is never too late to reassess the current situation. This also pertains to a parent moving in who has lost their spouse and moves in with one of the family. Everyone needs to take a role in how that plays out moving forward.
Is someone taking Mom to their house for a few days? Coming to visit every other week? Perhaps stopping by to check in from time to time?
It is crucial to make it clear what the needs of the primary caregiver are, while simultaneously understanding what everyone’s needs are. Perhaps at first thought, you’ll decide to figure things out as you go along, but in caregiving, things almost always get a bit fuzzy. Time may have elapse since the onset of an illness or a loved one residing with you. Fragile emotions mixed in with a dose or two of stress, and you’ve suddenly got an environment that can be toxic.
Making a plan can create balance, and clarity goes a long way. Here are a few tips:
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Make a list of everyone’s concerns about how this moves forward. Be sure to include the feelings of the person being scared for)
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Create a to-do list with a name of everyone involved on task for something
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Keep the lines communication open and share feelings about what is happening before it erupts into something bigger
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Schedule regular meetings, perhaps a Zoom or FaceTime once a month
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Utilize a tool that can help keep your loved one easily in touch with everyone. The Claris Companion Tablet is a fantastic way to do this and the very reason we’ve brought them onboard
Sounds like a lot to do? It is. But creating a neutral environment where everyone is on board and (hopefully) in agreement with each other will make an emotional process a bit easier. Miguel Ruiz and “The Four Agreements” comes to mind:
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Be Impeccable With Your Word.
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Don’t Take Anything Personally.
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Don’t Make Assumptions.
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Always Do Your Best.
And remember, caring for yourself is an integral part of keeping the care of your loved one on track. Don’t forget that part.
Hugs,
Cyndi