Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my grandfather, whom I called Papaw. Those days were innocent as a young child. I was in awe of this towering man I loved and adored, who took me to the farm with him, let me watch him tend to the farming while I sang to the blackbirds, and held my hand asking, “Sugar, how are you today? Nothing to worry about out here; it’s just us chickens.”
Many years later, we received the news that he was in the hospital, and we needed to go to his side. Mom, Dad, and I flew from California to be at his bedside to see what would’ve been one of his last breaths. It’s a heartbreaking memory that is forever with me.
When I was older, watching my mom care for my dad after a leg amputation due to vascular issues was a very emotionally challenging time in my life. To see someone who was my hero and golf buddy falling into the final days of his life, unable to do the things he once did, was so difficult for me. Then, being at his side as he took his last breath, I refused to accept that my father was dead. I stepped away briefly, in disbelief, turning back to face the stark reality that he was gone. Another passage forever etched in my memory.
Sill later, caring for the woman who gave birth to me to become ill was also difficult. Mom was a determined woman who could no longer do the things she once had, which was challenging for her. When I saw her barely able to walk across the hallway and fall to the floor, somehow I knew it would be the last ride to the hospital.
Like me, I am sure many of you have similar memories that stay with you forever. What you do with those memories is of utmost importance. One of our colleagues at Breathing Spaces, Cindy Gum, has been a tremendous woman to converse with. Cindy’s way of guiding participants through writing and self-reflection creates an opening for better self–care and compassionate conversations with yourself. These opportunities are open to anyone – not just caregivers- as we all care for ourselves.
Cindy is offering a fabulous new workshop in October for anyone who has lost a loved one, whether recent or years ago. I encourage you to explore Memories from the Heart with Cindy Gum.
This road of life has many turns, and through it all, you have been on it with yourself. I hope you take opportunities to honor the unique person you are, make peace with the past, and be still in the moment you have here and now.
Peaceful hugs,
Cyndi