We’re so happy to introduce Tiffany Baker to you. She’s an incredible addition to our team, and will be providing online Death Salons as part of our compassion circles, but you can also get one-on-one support from her as Vigil Planner or Grief Coach. All of these things are so important, especially for those of us who are older or have aging parents, and Tiffany provides a guiding hand and sensitive heart. Please take this opportunity to discover who she is, before you take a look at her offerings.
When I was 2 years old in the 1980s, my parents made an investment in a timeshare property on a key off of Florida’s West Coast. My dad, ever the quality hound, chose a top floor ocean-view condo for us to own for 2 weeks out of every year. My childhood is filled with memories of this place, and in particular, of walks on the beach with my mom.
Mom was always at her most relaxed with the ocean wind in her short hair, the sun in her face, walking barefoot and marveling at Nature’s beauty while the waves lapped peacefully on the shore. I wonder how many miles we’ve walked together, up and down the coasts of Florida and North Carolina where she was born.
Mom’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis came in 2015, and since then we’ve been on a different kind of walk together. Over the years our walks have gone from brisk to halting, from independent to supported, to now, with a recent prediction she soon will be too weak to walk altogether.
All these little losses. And looming in the background when I chance to look at it, the biggest loss – I know she will someday die of her condition.
Mom’s diagnosis inspired me to take action on a calling to become an End-of-Life Doula. If you haven’t heard this term before, you’re not alone. While Hospice is a household name, End-of-Life (EOL) or Death Doulas are still a burgeoning concept.
So, what is an EOL or Death Doula?
EOL or Death Doulas (names used interchangeably) provide emotional and spiritual support at end-of-life. Hospice is irreplaceable for all things medical, and nurses often want to provide support for the totality of end-of-life, but with many patients to visit per day, time just doesn’t allow. That’s where EOL Doulas come in.
As an EOL Doula, I provide support for the entire community surrounding a dying person. I ask people facing death questions that family and friends may feel shy to ask, things about regrets, things that keep them up at night, what they’re most proud of, and wishes for memorial services or a legacy to leave behind. Then I help solidify their answers into plans.
But what about the 55 million folks like my mom who have dementia, and/or are non-verbal? I support caregivers and decision makers 1-1 to be present with how they’re handling the stress of caregiving and to prepare for what lies ahead.
Whoever it is I’m working with, the focus is the same: how can I support the unbelievably nuanced and challenging walk to and through the portal of death, and the road beyond for the living who must now adjust to a world without their loved one?
I’m honored to join the Breathing Spaces community to provide support to people just like you and your family. Please reach out to me with any questions. I’d be honored to walk with you and your loved ones and remind you that you are never alone.