It’s the end of the week, and you can’t seem to gain enough energy to get through the rest of your day. Your head has been spinning at night with endless lists of responsibilities, and you see the calendar flip to August in just a few days! Time and sleep seem like an illusion.
We all face a multitude of challenges, both practical and emotional, throughout our lives. Without clear boundaries, exhaustion and emotional strain easily take over, and we are left in a pool of meltdown.
As I speak to family and professional caregivers, I hear this theme running through their lives, and as I near the end of my recent move to southern California, mine too. Boundaries are not optional; they are necessary. It’s not about neglecting other people; it’s about ensuring your own well-being while being involved in the lives of others.
Many of us were raised with the misconception that having boundaries was bad. We adhered to what others wanted or expected of us rather than what felt confirmed in our bodies. Keep your thoughts to yourself and do what you were told, whether in a family or professional life.
I’ve been working on my boundaries for years, finding a balance between what I felt others needed and what I needed from myself. I learned in caregiving that I often neglected those boundaries, and in retrospect, no one really ‘won’.
I have some wonderful friends I can bounce ideas off of to help you, our caregiving audience, and those who care for yourself. In a recent walk and talk these ideas percolated:
- Time boundaries: schedule specific times for doing certain tasks.
- Create a list: Write down everything that needs to be done or create a whiteboard with your tasks. Something is empowering about striking through or removing a task once you’re done.
- Physical boundaries: Know your limits. Don’t keep going when your body is nudging you to stop. STOP.
- Personal Space boundaries: You need your own space, somewhere you can check out to mentally recharge. Is that under shade three at the park? Your own space at home? Find it—make it happen. And don’t forget, sometimes saying NO is not selfish – it’s necessary.
By paying attention to these, you not only enhance your own well-being but also improve the care of those you work with or care for, creating healthier outcomes. Remember, self-care isn’t indulgent; it’s essential.
Hugs,
Cyndi