After 34 years as a therapist, my definition of the relationship between a client and a therapist is that we are on a journey together that produces growth, connection, and a deep sense of humanity.
The relationship between a client and a therapist is somewhere between theory and friendship. A place where the client can find a way to live and stay engaged in the world in the midst of disappointments, heartbreak, and loss with a guide by their side. The therapist transcends their personal judgments, ideas and solutions and focuses on the needs and growth of the client.
There are no therapeutic tools or interventions that can substitute for the simplicity of human connection. Having worked for San Diego Hospice, I learned there is no simple answer to the question: “how are you supposed to rebuild your life?” But part of it is having a trusted companion.
A therapist spends thousands of hours training, practicing, and listening to people’s stories. The story of each human being is rich with experiences and history unique only to them and yet have similarities to the larger human story.
Although there are rules, regulations, guidelines, and scientifically based research interventions, both the therapist and the client are dealing with the essential problems of existence and must work cooperatively to solve them. The therapist must “walk in the other person’s shoes” and listen deeply. Most of all they need to empathize with the client’s experience.
I often think of myself as a “story catcher,” one who actively listens to the stories of clients and may add, subtract, or give a different perspective to their story.
I have always been intrigued by the human experience and how we make sense of our lives. I am more in love with questions than answers. I am aware of the power of stories and what we tell ourselves.
I am haunted, uplifted and inspired by the resilience, determination and courage of clients who show up and face life on life’s terms.
The Buddhists say there are 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. I have had the good fortune of shepherding my clients through both.
Reflection:
When have you accompanied someone on their “journey?”
Today’s Practice:
Ask for what you need and offer what you can.