Sleeping with a Giraffe
It was the spring of 2017. Both of my parents-in-law were sick, as was my stepfather, (my mother-in-law would die that summer, my father-in-law would follow the next spring) and the American political scene was tense and scary, sort of like now.
As I fought to balance my need to stay informed (I come from a long line of activists) with my desire to protect my mental health, I turned to the internet and came across April, a reticulated giraffe living at Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, NY. She was fifteen years old and in her fourth month of pregnancy, and I joined thousands of viewers around the world who tuned into her webcam every night watching and waiting to see when her calf would come into the world.
At one point when I was feeling particularly demoralized, and my husband was out of the country, I left her livestream up overnight. The dim light in her enclosure and the soft sounds of her breathing and rustling in her sleep were calming, and when I finally fell asleep, it was some of the best rest I ever got.
I subscribed to receive a text message when labor began – all proceeds went to support the park – and was privileged to be among the first to welcome Tajiri to the world, watching the process from the first appearance of hooves to the dramatic splat as he landed on the ground (giraffes sleep and give birth standing up) to his first wobbly steps.
Grinning with Gator Chris
Gator Chris came into my life in the spring of 2021. Our house in Texas had taken serious damage when pipes burst, and my husband sent me to Florida to spend time with my mother while he, the fabulous man that he is, dealt with the contractors and our three dogs.
I was experiencing grief that year, as well, not just my destroyed house, the expenses that come with contractors while waiting for insurance, but also the loss of my aunt to Covid over the previous Christmas.
After a visit to a local animal preserve where my mother and I got to hear alligators bellowing as we arrived, I became obsessed with these animals who actually pre-date dinosaurs. (The closest things to living dinosaurs are actually birds.)
Following Chris Gillette on Instagram and YouTube, I learned that alligators can be trained but not tamed, that they can learn their names and respond to them, and that they’re not mindless killing machines, but mostly predictable apex predators.
But more than the gators, I found a community among Chris’s fans. Together we worried when we didn’t see one of our favorite gators in several days, and applauded when he bought land to open his own animal sanctuary, Bellowing Acres, which, yes, has a bunch of rescue alligators and crocodiles, but is also home to foxes, fennec foxes, a skunk, a non-releasable barred owl, emus, turtles, tortoises, Patagonian mara, coatimundis, colony of prairie dogs who love cuddles, an African crested porcupine, and Jellybean, a toucan who does a dance of joy with every blueberry he plucks our o f his bowl.
It’s become a habit for me to end my nights by watching Chris’s sanctuary vlogs on YouTube, with my dogs in bed with me. Sometimes, my husband watches, too.
Crying over a Crab
I’m not sure how I stumbled across Howie the Crab, but I think it was in 2023 when I was recovering from my first time actually having Covid. Howie was a rainbow crab who was already years past her typical life span of five years when I began following her feed.
In the two years since then, I’ve joined other Howie fans (which include the person she was named after, Howie Mandel) in learning about the anatomy of crabs (did you know that they replace all their organs with every molt?) and holding my breath through at least two molts, each one significantly longer than the last (crabs stop eating in the times leading to the actual molt because their mouthparts and digestive tracks cease to function.
Again, grief comes into the equation, but this time it’s the collective grief of Howie’s fans mixed with compassion for Laura Porter, her human mother. Howie died overnight. She was nearly ten years old, and probably the world’s most beloved pet crab.
These relationships are para-social, much like the relationships we have with our favorite celebrities, but at the same time, the communities around April the Giraffe, Gator Chris, and Howie the Crab are more than just internet strangers bonding over shared interests, they’re a respite from all of the darkness in the world, places where there’s no drama, no politics, just learning and love.
And if spending time with these internet-famous animals and their human guardians eases the anxiety of anyone watching then they’re also a vital form of self care.