In the United States, more than nine million people – about one in five - fall into the category of 'caregiver,' yet many neglect to raise their hands and acknowledge that they are. As roles change in our lives, whether temporarily helping a loved one or going in for the long haul, the guidebooks are unclear and far too long.
Overwhelm can cause mistakes. Slowing down a bit avoids pitfalls (as much as possible). Those thoughts are worth much more than mere pennies if they are cared for properly - just don't let them swamp you. When you multi-task, although it seems like you'll get more done, you actually lose productivity by dividing your attention.
Kindness is one of the simplest gifts you can give to others and yourself. Showing that you care, especially in this fast-paced world, is important, but requires mindfulness. Small acts of kindness, like looking into someone's eyes, saying hello, or saying thank you, can make a dramatic difference in mood and attitude. When you notice someone upset or angry, pausing to ask, "Is there something that I can do for you?" creates a shift in energy and fosters connections.
When do you run your mind tapes during the day? Just before sleep or first thing in the morning? We all do it. The balance happens when we don't let it cycle over and over and over and... over.
In the rush of our daily lives with work and loved ones in need of our attention, the flow of our days can be smooth and tranquil or jacked up by something unexpected or negative that occurs. Then perhaps you find yourself reacting negatively later in the day. It would be grand, wouldn't it, to have continuous easy flow with no interruptions?
Our relationship with our mothers may shift over time, but the love remains the same. Some of you may be caring for your mother now, as she once cared for you. Others like myself have lost our mom, and this day can be difficult. What can you do for such a special woman, guide, and warrior?
Then it happens; your loved one is admitted to the hospital and decisions need to be made about whether to go on to a care home or perhaps hire in-home care.
Communication, the language that we choose, and the energy our bodies emit, is essential in what we speak, what we hear, and what our posture implies. A harsh reaction may be coming from someone's pain or fear, and your response to it can be a powerful hit or a supportive landing place.
How far down the rabbit hole shall you go before you know you've gone too far? I've had conversations with professional and family caregivers alike who have taken too many steps down the road of life with blinders knowing they'll pull through it. Burnout can sneak up like a bullet train.
I think of journaling like a trusted friend - one you can let your 'hair' down and write what is bubbling up. No judgment. I also love to use it for gratitude - a wonderful place to focus on the end of your day on what went RIGHT vs. focusing on what may have gone wrong—a lovely way to go to sleep at night.