As we engage in various situations in our home and work lives, there may be situations that occur that bring a sense of heaviness. Though our days as adults may not be filled with such simple moments, I wonder if we might be able to map out time to have similar ones? Whether it is the list of things that need to be done or the emotions that are circling us, clearing a path is important for our own energy and that of those we encounter. read more

Yes And?

What I've learned since then is that caregiving IS improv. Moods change, aging parents sometimes lose track of the here and now, young children resent it when they don't feel heard, and nobody likes hearing "no." Improv isn't a total cure-all, but its core is cooperation. Being a partner  - a teammate - to the person you care for is infinitely preferable to being an authority figure or dictator, which is a role too many of us slip into. read more

Caregiving

Over the summer, we added Curves of Los Altos to our family of care partners. Since then, Mimi and Tracey have led our Caregivers' Walks and are hosting a thirty-minute at-home workout on November 2nd. More than just two women who are part of a nationwide franchise of woman-focused gyms, both are also caregivers. Here are their stories. read more

It's a dilemma we all have as the people we love age, move out of their homes and into ours (or care homes) and eventually die. On the one hand, those family treasures are imbued with a ton of meaning. On the other, they're just things, and keeping a clock or a table or even my stepfather's collection of science and match textbooks doesn't make my memories any stronger, just as donating or selling these things won't diminish them.   read more

happy flowers

Humor has long been my personal "coping mechanism," and I often tell people that sarcasm is my second language, but I come by this honestly. Everyone in my family, both blood and chosen, responds with witty comebacks or painful puns, or just bad jokes whenever things are getting tense. Even my husband knows that the best way to shake me out of a gloomy mood is to make me laugh, and I do the same for him. read more

Playing Games

Instantly I'm ten years old, sitting on the ancient beige chintz sofa in my grandparents' den, racing with my grandfather to see which of us could answer first, while my grandmother made comments about which of us should know the answer. I didn't know, then, that their daily viewing of this television show was part of my grandmother's attempt to ensure that my grandfather's brain remained stimulated and active. read more

At the last pier, there was a bench where we would sit and overlook the boat launch. Sometimes, we'd see people carefully backing their cars toward the water, guiding the boat trailer until there was enough draft to release the vessel, and sometimes we saw the process in reverse, as folks pulled their craft out and got them hitched up on the tow trailer again. read more

Going to the beach, then, became something of an adventure. We had to pack extra clothing and hygiene products (we were all in California by then, and unlike New Jersey, the beaches there don't all have restrooms and changing cabanas). Of course, we were all well trained in the art of changing behind towels held up by whoever was with you, but after my grandmother's hip replacement, she needed a wheelchair, and that made things a bit more complicated. read more

There is nothing wrong with going to the beach or having a family picnic on Memorial Day. My grandfather, who died when I was twenty-one, often reminded us that he and his compatriots fought for our right to have those parties and picnics. However, it's important to remember that this holiday has a somber element. We are meant to remember the military officers - fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings – in our family. We are meant to honor their service. We are meant to tell their stories. read more