As caregivers, we must be aware that the people we support often react to the change of seasons with heightened emotions. When my grandmother was first sliding into dementia, the simple act of packing away her summer clothes and bringing out her warmer winter wardrobe would make her anxious. Where were her belongings going, and would she get them back?
Here's a scenario to consider; someone asks you to attend a gathering, and you feel compelled to go. You don't want to, but what would they think of you if you didn't? Ask these questions; Why don't you want to go? Why do you feel compelled to go? What would happen if you honored yourself and didn't go?
When you've piled so many things on your plate and those days happen, defeat can be brutal. We've all experienced it, which can rock us off our feet. Creating resilience is essential. So too, are compassion and acceptance — both with yourself and with others.
Know yourself, become aware of your limits, and honor them. Those around you reap the rewards as well.
Remote caregiving was often spotlighted as a consequence of the Covid-19 pandemic, especially in the early days when much of the world was in some sort of lockdown, but the reality is that those of us who don't live near our parents are often faced with providing care and support from afar, and while it may seem easy from outside, it's really very challenging in its own way.
Being faced with tough decisions isn’t easy for anyone, and it can be a daily occurrence for family caregivers. Undoubtedly the decisions about your loved one but what about choices for yourself? How many of you think about that?
We can't close our eyes or ears to what is happening in the world around us, but changing our reactions is possible. What you give yourself is a crucial ingredient in creating change and making a positive impact both in your life and the world at large.
I think about the times I may have hesitated asking questions during those conversations - have you experienced that, too? The thing is, difficult conversations often become more difficult when you muddle around with questions or thoughts. It is important to be clear, honest, and direct, with a swag of politeness
Whether you are a family caregiver or a healthcare professional, you give so much of yourself in the care of others. When did you take your last deep breath? The impact of not doing so affects both you and those you are caring for, so in truth, no one wins.
My grandmother's lullabies (is it still a lullaby if it's morning, though?) to her flowers were more than just idle sounds. Rather, they were an expression of her caring. Remembering her singing made me think about how music in general, and singing specifically, is an essential part of caregiving for humans, as well as houseplants.