Then it happens; your loved one is admitted to the hospital and decisions need to be made about whether to go on to a care home or perhaps hire in-home care.
I recently found a different way. The caregiving after-effects can run long and deep. Just when you think you've got it neatly tucked away, it whirls back up like a tornado. Perhaps it's the 7th anniversary of mom passing, approaching along with the recent (and somewhat unpleasant) dealings of my brother's estate when he passed late last year. Perhaps, it's those little, tiny emotions that are tucked neatly in the back of my psyche that, even though I continue my practices, were still knocking. None of this was ruining my life, days, or decisions, but it was a constant, subtle, poke or prickle.
It is a great feeling to get things accomplished, but things can slip when you have put the pedal to the metal throughout your whole day. It is crucial, especially when you're going full speed or feeling run down, to become aware of the need to stop and check in with how you are mentally/emotionally feeling. Reacting negatively from a drained mind and body can happen quickly when you're worn down, and will likely cause you to say or do something you'll regret later.
In the mix of overwhelm that can happen in our lives, from the usual to-dos to the unexpected, are you taking time to stop? To B-R-E-A-T-H-E? Be honest with yourself. We all think we can handle a lot, and at times we have to. Try changing up the usual protocol you have done into an energetic shift. Energy is powerful stuff - what you put in you get back multiplied abundantly. Be aware of the negative you send out (or in) because it is likely to produce more.
Murphy's Law warns us: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." That is a mindset that many people carry with them; is that you, too? It's easy enough to do when you've hit your limit of things on your to-do list or experienced a series of negative events. But here's a different perspective I would like you to consider: When things appear to be going wrong, what if they're going right?
Anything that you can do, even the smallest of things can make a significant difference. Fill up your cup, calm the monkey mind because it increases your reactivity and decreases human error when caring for your loved one, your family, and yourself.
Humor has long been my personal "coping mechanism," and I often tell people that sarcasm is my second language, but I come by this honestly. Everyone in my family, both blood and chosen, responds with witty comebacks or painful puns, or just bad jokes whenever things are getting tense. Even my husband knows that the best way to shake me out of a gloomy mood is to make me laugh, and I do the same for him.
Doing something that fills your spirit up needs to be part of your daily to-do list as well. As necessary as deep breaths and exercise are, so, too is filling your heart with joy. When is the last time you felt truly alive and fulfilled? What activity allowed you to feel that way? I'm guessing it wasn't plugging through from chore to chore but instead an activity that filled your heart. Though you may not be able to skip off to Maui for the day, there is likely something that will give you a lift.
Shutting down listening mode in the middle of someone talking to you, happens. Whether we are busy multitasking, or perhaps we've ‘heard it all before’, I'd be willing to guess that all of us have been guilty of this. My way is better, don't ya know?
For many people, the shock, change, and consequences of remaining at home during this “stay in place” quarantine period is hard to deal with.