I am not a researcher, but I am an observer of people. What I have observed in my personal and professional life is there are phases we go through with grief. They aren’t linear because grief isn’t neat and orderly. I refer to these phases as grief, growth, and grit.
Like me, I am sure many of you have similar memories that stay with you forever. What you do with those memories is of utmost importance. One of our colleagues at Breathing Spaces, Cindy Gum, has been a tremendous woman to converse with. Cindy’s way of guiding participants through writing and self-reflection creates an opening for better self–care and compassionate conversations with yourself. These opportunities are open to anyone – not just caregivers- as we all care for ourselves.
When you’re overwhelmed with grief, decisions – even seemingly mindless ones – are hard. As remote caregivers or people caring for other caregivers, sometimes the best thing we can do when trying to help – whether it’s because of a loss, or just everyday overwhelm – is offer specific small choices.
It seems like there’s an ebb and flow of people I know going through various illnesses or deaths of loved ones. They speak of the difficulty of knowing what to say, or even if to say some things, and that sometimes they feel frozen and unable to talk at all. Many feel like they are drowning, and search for any kind of buoyancy in the sea of grief.
New Beginnings don’t happen all at once. They can be a soft accumulation of things that have been brewing for a long time. A New Beginning can be adjusting to the new role of a caregiver; a role that you might not have chosen, but it chose you.
