Buoyancy in the Sea of Grief

It seems like there's an ebb and flow of people I know going through various illnesses or deaths of loved ones. They speak of the difficulty of knowing what to say, or even if to say some things, and that sometimes they feel frozen and unable to talk at all. Many feel like they are drowning, and search for any kind of buoyancy in the sea of grief. read more

It's a dilemma we all have as the people we love age, move out of their homes and into ours (or care homes) and eventually die. On the one hand, those family treasures are imbued with a ton of meaning. On the other, they're just things, and keeping a clock or a table or even my stepfather's collection of science and match textbooks doesn't make my memories any stronger, just as donating or selling these things won't diminish them.   read more

An image that comes to mind when I think about the grief experience is that of a nautilus. If you visualize a nautilus or look it up, you will see that each spiral is progressively higher and above as it goes around. This is probably the best analogy to illustrate why it is normal in a grief journey at any point: to go around and around through anger, frustration, blame, resentment, disapproval, laughter, joy, hope, motivation, stagnation, and more. read more